The Truth/Vulnerability/And Reminder to Self

"Faux Christianity" used to be my reality. If you dont know what faux Christianity is, I'll help you. It's when you say you "believe in God", but He is not Lord over your life. You go through the motions of owning a Bible, but rarely pick it up unless you're dusting or need a paper weight. You do what you want when you because you don't quite trust that God's grand promises are for you yet, but you go to church on the major days! You drink excessively, swear, have sex, do drugs, etc because your life still revolves around you. But you can have your cake and eat it too!!! You're saved so you're going to heaven anyway right?!

I thank God regularly that he broke me to a point that I gave up this foolish thinking. Not only did I hurt myself, I hurt others and didn't even realize it. As an older young women saying one thing, often times I contradicted my words with my actions to those who looked up to me. How many people did I discourage from the love of God because of my disobedience. How many lives have ended without the word of God, because I was one of many afraid to speak the word of God before it was too late?

At this transition in my life, i am no longer around that church family that sharpened me. I have only minimal accountability due to distance and time, and i'm the only practicing christian in my home. Often times i'm just tired of defending myself. Defending the fact that I hate gossip, don't like to lie, and am not sexually active. Yes, im encouraged to do all of the above in my own home. My stubbornness and resistance to this worldly view of life often causes harsh words and condemning thoughts about my lifestyle.

Walls that I spent my life building because of my biological family, I was challenged to bring down by my Core family. And now I'm back home. Back to a place where I'm always quiet, retreated to my reading corner where I try to escape the non sense. I sleep, all day, just to avoid really having to entertain conversations. In the past 2 days I was told "you're not curing the world, so you may as well just stop trying" "you would be as pretty as your sister if________" and "i know you think that Bible of yours is going to do something, but it won't". Though I know better, it still hurts to hear it from people that are innately supposed to love you.

Now that I've so conveniently vented that, I've come to a realization. The truth hurts. I know, obvious right? But I don't mean that kind of truth. I mean, God....He's pretty insulting if you're not with the program. My life alone (minus words) insults my family so much, that they feel the need to break me down to make themselves feel better about our difference in lifestyles. If the word of God is a double edged sword to believers, imagine how much more unpleasant it is to non believers.

I guess in the midst of it all, i had to remember one thing:

If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.- Luke 14:26

Jesus didn't say this to be dramatic....he was dead serious. He knew the cost of going against the world, and the level of sacrifice you would have to make. He knew of rejection, stinging words, limited support, and betrayal.

Here's another truth: your relationship with God is one who's fruit should be the previously mentioned. You know you're doing something right, if you're sharing in the suffering of Christ. Pick up your crosses and follow. He never said it would be easy, He said it would be worth it.
My prayer is that we all have the strength to stand firm in our faith. Others will question how we are so sure that this is the way and the light, and I pray that we will confidently be able to answer that since the beginning of time, our God has had a 100% success rate, and it will not end with us.

Tending to the Bush

Bitter...definitely one of those words that are taboo. Call me anything but bitter, because that means I'm holding on to pain and/or a situation I have no control over. And all while holding onto this...thing...i project how I feel onto the irrelevant and undeserving.

The funny thing about bitterness is that it may seem like a small struggle, but it roots our negative or merciless perception of people and life, our pessimistic outlook of our present, and our doubt in the fruition of God's promises.

Why do we hold on so tight to:

• Waiting for a sincere apology from someone who's hurt us
• Perceived neglect and/or a bad childhood, as a result of our parents
• The person you marrying not being the person you expected/wanted them to be
• Self guilt

Do any of you garden? Ever notice that even in the mist of the most beautiful landscape, there's always a weed. A weed is similar to an iceberg, in that most of it, is underground. Even worst, when it does grow above ground, most blend to look like just another flower. Only someone with a trained eye can spot a weed. A gardener knows that once you spot a weed, the whole garden needs to be treated. Pulling it up will only affect the aesthetics of the garden, but it wont take the problem away. The problem is so much deeper than the surface.

Bitterness is a spiritual weed. Only a trained eye looking for it can spot it, and only God can treat it from the inside out. We can try our quick fixes, so that to friends and family, we look like we have it all together. But with some time, the problem will re-emerge. Maybe not in the same area of your life, but it WILL come back.

Proverbs 14:10 (NLT) ¹⁰ Each heart knows its own bitterness...
Take a moment to think about what affects your decision making, how you trust others, and the disappointed expectations that occur the most often? LOOK for the root of your bitterness, don't just pluck the manifestation of it.

Prayer: Lord, I need your help on more than just how others perceive me. I need you to renew me from the inside out. God, you are so much more powerful than I can imagine. I know that only you have the power to free me from myself. Help me Lord to remove ALL that is unpleasant to you, especially whatever it is getting in the way of loving your people like you do. In Jesus' name, Amen!

Get over Yourself!

Today's world teaches us that we can do any and everything by ourselves. We are bombarded by the "independent woman" and the "99 problems but a ***** ain't one". We convince ourselves that "we can do bad all by ourselves", that we "can't trust these hoes", or "Me, myself, and I is all I got in the end".  The problem with this mentality, is that we are leaving ourselves open and vulnerable to any and everything that comes our way.

Isolation, I argue, is a fruit of the flesh, as well as a tool of the devil. When we are down, we have the sudden urge to "want to be alone". When we are stressed, we need "to just getaway". When we are engaging in things we shouldn't, we keep it to ourselves. This is not a coincidence.

In Ecclesiastes 4:7-12 (NLT) King David's son says
" ⁷ I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. ⁸ This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing.
 ⁹ Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ¹⁰ If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble... ¹² A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken"

Truth of the matter is, we need each other. No matter how self-sufficient, motivated, and ambitious we are, God made us to be stronger and more efficient together. In Genesis 2:18 ^18...the Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone..."

Because we are born again, we have the power to beat all fruits of the flesh. If isolation therefore, is a worldly desire, we should be doing everything in our power to be better brothers and sisters to one another, as well as to those who are not of the same faith. Are your actions signs of companionship or deceit?

Many of us are combated daily with depression, exhaustion, loneliness, discouragement, failure, and the like. The questions remains: Who's back do YOU have, and who has YOURS? Who has entrusted YOU to be a hand that helps and/or a mouth that prays? Do you treasure your relationships, or have you allowed disappointment to discourage how close you allow others to get?

Proverbs 27:17 (New Living Translation)

 ¹⁷ As iron sharpens iron,
      so a friend sharpens a friend.

If you do not allow others close to you, or are someone that others don't want to be close to, not only do you remain dull, but forfeit the opportunity to help sharpen others. Companionship is a requirement, not an option. Get over yourself! Get over trying to go through life alone. Get past the disappointments you've allowed to shape you, and start over new. Invest in people, and allow others to invest in you. Trust and be trusted. Today....at this moment.... let go of the guilt and bitterness and move forward! God gave you this day, not to remain alone, but to love and allow others to love you.

Prayer: I'd like to thank you God. For strategically placing the people in my life that need to be there, to help me get closer to You, and to help me better love those around me. Lord, I pray you soften my heart, and bring more people in my life who have my best intentions in mind. People that can help me be strong, that can pray on my behalf when I'm down, and be an arm when I am weak. Everything I go through, happens for a reason, and I pray I can use my experiences to help sharpen the companions you have brought, and will bring into my life. In Jesus' name, Amen!

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Just the other day, a friend and I were talking about this almost suffocating restriction for women to hide their beauty because it may cause a man to "stumble". While I have no problem with dressing with discretion; at some point in time, men need to take responsibility for their struggles.

Example, if any one of us decided to go on an all vegetarian diet, and one day, we go to lunch at a place that sells meat; whose fault is it if you cheat on your diet? It would be irresponsible and immature to say "why did you bring me here? you knew they sold meat and I wouldn't be able to say no!"

The other day I saw a quote: "To err is human, to blame it on others is even more human"

Lets take for example, Genesis 3. In this chapter, Eve has been convinced by satan to eat a piece of fruit. After consuming it, she gives some to her husband Adam, and he eats it as well. When God finds them, the conversation goes as such:
(NLT) Genesis 3:9-12
⁹ Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
 ¹⁰ He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”
 ¹¹ “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”
 ¹² The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

What we seem to miss, is that yes, Adam was tempted, but it was ultimately up to him to give in or deny it. Before he even thought to take responsibility for giving into temptation, he hid. Once exposed, he blames his falter on God and the woman God gave him.

We do this regularly. Engage in nonsense, act as though it never happened, and hide it from our accountability. Once our spot has been blown, we blame others for lack of accountability, for tempting us, or for not telling us this would happen one day.

Temptations will come our way, but we've been given the power to resist them.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT)

¹³ The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

We've already been promised that we will not be tempted with more than we can handle. And we're promised that there's always a way out. So im pretty sure God sees the shawty in the mini skirt walking your way, just as I'm sure He sees the pretty boy who's good with words.

I don't want to give the illusion that the temptation stops. Jesus was tempted for 40 days, and it didn't end there!
Luke 4:13 (NLT)
¹³ When the devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came.

The devil is an idiot, sure, but he's a persistent one. Flee from temptation when you're given the way out. We will give in sometimes. It is what makes us imperfect. But when we do, we must learn from the experience. Realize the point at which your flesh took over, and set boundaries to try to prevent it from happening again. We are always given a way out. If we don't take it, anything that happens after that, is our fault. By all means, DON'T BLAME YOUR FALL ON SOMEONE ELSE.

Prayer: Lord, help me to have the strength to take responsibility for my actions. Please take all of those not beneficial to my life, out, so that I may be more obedient to you. Bless me with encouraging brothers and sisters that can help me back up after I fall. My life is yours from this moment, and I will do all I can, to honor with it. In Jesus' name, Amen!

So you wanna be on TOP!

As I sat in my office trying to figure out what topic I would attack today, I was nudged specifically towards one that I already feel pretty strongly about. My AP assigned me to read James earlier last week, so I thought I'd revisit it. And while reading the second chapter, You ALONE are God  by Hillsong came on. Can you guess what the topic is?

Judgement and Prejudice.

Since I can remember, I've always lived a humble lifestyle. My family was and still isn't anywhere near wealthy, and I didn't mind it much. I was the child that wore the same clothes for years, and picked carefully what field trips I could afford to attend. We took what we had, and always made the best of it. If there was no money to go out, we popped popcorn and watched movies together. If we had money, both my grandmother and mother, would be the first to give it to someone who didn't. Money wasn't our wealth, quality time and love was. I was lucky.

As im growing older, im coming into more contact with people who act more off of a taxonomy system, than humility. People who classify themselves in a different "quality" of life, and therefore treat others based on whatever classification they fall in to. People who miss out on love, because they're so pre-occupied with judging others. I used to detest judgemental people! Especially since they would act so cold towards me solely because of what I wore, how my hair looked, or whatever shallow reason. Im not proud of the fact. But now, I pity them. They're missing out on the greatest moments in life because they're so busy judging the small things, that they aren't enjoying them.

God's view on people who practice judgment and prejudice is as follows:

James 2:1-9 (NLT) ¹ My dear brothers and sisters,^[a] how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?.... ⁸ Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^{[d] 9} But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.

If Jesus, the Lord himself, showed love to EVERYONE, are you above Him in that, you can choose who you will love? There is only ONE God, and we are not Him.

And for the self righteous who judge those in their immediate environment, but then give to the poor, whom they pity:
1 Corinthians 13:3 (NLT)
 ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;^[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

The Amplified translation of this scripture says: ³Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or ^[c] in order that I may glory, but have not love (God's love in me), I gain nothing.

Love everyone as God loves, not as you love yourself  (because quite frankly, some of us don't love, respect, or honor ourselves), and not as you would want to be loved (because experiences could pollute our want for love). We are to be followers of Christ in word and in deed.

1 Corinthians 13:13
¹³And so faith, hope, love abide [faith--conviction and belief respecting man's relation to God and divine things; hope--joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love--true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Judgement and prejudice are the exact contrast of the greatest law God calls us to follow. Get with the program! This is not Maryland's Next Top Christian. You CANT be better than anyone else, no matter how much money you have, how much you pray, how "saved" you are, or how many ministries you serve in.

James 2:10 ¹⁰ For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws.

This would be the time we take to re-evaluate our thoughts of those around us. How do we treat the same people God has called us to love? Are we rude? Do we create uncomfortable environments for our brothers and sisters? Do you have a "classification system" of who we entertain and who we do not?

Prayer: Lord, by any means necessary, remind me of who I am in the greater scheme of things. Show me me, and provide me with the strength and wisdom to push past the things I struggle with. Please supply me with the tools to better love your people, with the same intensity and mercy as You do. I love you Lord! This life is not about me, but all about You. Use me Lord to show the world who you are. in Jesus' name, Amen! 

Because you're JUST THAT GOOD in Bed

Today I had yet another interesting conversation with my infamous, all male staff. The youngest, who is in his early twenties proudfully stated,"I already know I'm gonna have children before I'm married!" Of course, my immediate thoughts re-route me to the high school girls I listen to, as they cry because of some deep pain their lack of a father, has caused. I think of all the hands raised that night my Youth Pastor PJ asked the kids how many of them hated their fathers? Then I look back at the young man sitting in front of me. All he's focused on is the "now". He's not thinking about the potential. He's not thinking about his inability to be a sufficient vessel to poor into a child. But do any of us think of possible consequences when we engage ourselves in things we have no business doing?

By nature, we seek pleasure. It is embedded in us to want everything that does us harm. Girls want the bad boys (Don't front, think back to before you were saved). Men want the provocative women (for the all the righteous ones that say "nah uhh", you slept with them already, or look at them when they walk by, so be real with yourselves). We seek temporary relief from a very difficult and pressure filled life.

The downside to temporary reliefs, are the permanent consequences. The songs that resonate on the radio, the television show, magazines are all targeted to making this temporary relief more alluring and efficient. Don't believe me:

Radio:
Rick Ross feat Drake: "Kisses all on her body, she tells me live in the moment"
J.Cole: "I’m finna take you home, just sip a little patron, Now we zonin’, baby you so fine"
Jamie Foxx: : "But live girl, have some fun girl, we’ll be fine, trying to convince myself I’ve found one
Television:
BCG
Jersey Shore
Real Housewives

Magazines:
Cosmopolitian: "128 sex moves", "5 ways to get him to open up"
GQ: "How to have an office affair", "Seriously good head", "before you say 'I do'"
Glamour: "Sex and love advice", "Lusty, lasting true love", "what to do with a naked man"

Seriously, we need to start heavily weighing the consequences before we "live for the moment". Everything is all fun and smiles, until it isn't anymore.

Is he/she that good in bed, that their worth having a child with? Is 15 minutes of mediocre sex worth raising a child in an environment with insufficient funds and immature mindsets? Is it fair to our children that they were the "mistakes" of misguided relief from stressful days.

Proverbs 10:23
²³ Doing wrong is fun for a fool,
      but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible.

Be wise. We must think about what we do and say, before we do and say it. Think about the feelings we may hurt, the effects we may have on ourselves, the effects we will have on those not in the situation yet, and more importantly, the reputation we're creating. Because we are  representatives of Christ, we're not making ourselves look foolish, we're making Christ and His doctrines look foolish to those who don't know Him.

Before we indulge in our next "temporary high", we need to ask ourselves: Is this worth it?

Prayer: Lord, I know that i will make mistakes, and i know that You, with your mercy, will forgive me. But please give me the strength to remove myself from those who tempt, from situations that can lead me to sin. I even know I can be manipulative sometimes and engage in sin because I know it will be forgiven. Please God, rid me of my selfish intentions and my pleasure seeking mindset. Help me to want to be pleasing only unto you. In Jesus' name, Amen!

Protect Me from Me

Don't you love the scripture Proverbs 4:23 ²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
   for everything you do flows from it. (NIV)

My heart is my pride and joy. And i cant lie, i wear it on my sleeve most of the time. From it, flows my compassion, my discernment, my patience, my intentions, and most importantly, My love for God. I feel like He's embedded in me. I cant live or function without Him. His word is written on my heart. Completed concreted there. It gives me hope and faith through everything dark and malicious. This is why this scripture means so much to me. If I don't guard the place that controls my thoughts and my actions, I'm lost.

Ive found something interesting about the heart though. Yes, it is the place where all that is good and holy flows from (if the word is internalized there). But it is also the place were our imperfect, selfish human urges lie.
Jeremiah 17:9-10
 ⁹ “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
      and desperately wicked.
      Who really knows how bad it is?
 ¹⁰ But I, the Lord, search all hearts
      and examine secret motives.
   I give all people their due rewards,
      according to what their actions deserve"

The heart is the most deceitful of ALL things...not most. Its is more deceitful than others, and even more deceitful than the devil himself. We are a larger hindrance and harm to ourselves and others, than the devil is? We are our own worst enemy!

If the Word is in us, we should be able to differentiate God's will from our own. Galatians 5:22-23 "²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"
 Its safe to conclude that the heart therefore produces the fruits of pain, hate, sorrow, war, impatience, selfishness, evil, disloyalty, harshness, and recklessness.

Both sides lie in our hearts. Our lifetime battle is with ourselves. We need to become less of us, and more of Him. Get rid of the pride that tells us we are "christian enough" or "at our best." We can never be perfect, but we should never stop trying to reach Jesus-like perfection.
We must look at our actions, but more importantly, at our intentions behind them. If we celebrate anothers' demise, gossip, manipulate one another for our own entertainment, lie, deceive each other, what example of Christ does the world have to see. We call ourselves the Church, the bride of Christ, but our intentions and actions are more like that of an adulterating whore.

We must re-evaluate our intentions and discern our actions. No more excuses.

Prayer: God, convict me! If your Word is with me as I think it is, use it to cut me. Cut away the part of my heart that does not honor you. Help me to love you more, not just with my actions, but with my heart. Help me to not fake it anymore, but truly love You the way You more than deserve to be. In Jesus' name, Amen!